Anxiety is a jerk

New challenges are scary!! Sometimes I wonder why on earth people step out of their comfort zones — I mean, they are comfort zones for a REASON — they’re comfortable! When you stay in your comfort zone you never have to worry about anything. It’s safe, it’s protected, it’s comfortable, granted, it’s a little boring but that can be a good trade-off right?

I think one of the hardest parts of taking on this triathlon challenge is not so much the physical part but the emotional one. The anxiety is sometimes overwhelming. It feels like t5196178649_672e5672f9here is a small creature clawing it’s way though my stomach lining, much in the way the alien bursts out of the stomach in “Spaceballs” (although, I fear anxiety isn’t as adorable and doesn’t dance around with a hat and a cane. I think my anxiety must take the form of a giant man-eating spider.)

The thoughts of “what was I thinking?” can be totally overwhelming but the worst is the fear of failure. What if I can’t do this?? I did the try-a-tri and did quite well and really enjoyed the experience —and I didn’t die –which was one of the main goals in the first place. I’m not sure exactly what it is that Ib528d88f7a80bd0670f2d91f5d6aba3c‘m afraid of. I know I can do all of it. I’m not 100% sure that I can do it all together and without dying, puking or crying (there’s “no crying in baseball” but it’s allowed in triathlons right?).

There were people at the previous event who did the sprint without really training and I’ve definitely been working for it, but maybe that’s the fear. Maybe I haven’t done enough. I know I’ve slacked off now that summer has hit (the drinks on the dock are just oh so appealing). Maybe I won’t be ready. Maybe I won’t live up to my own expectations. Maybe I should stop worrying so much!! The mental game is at least half the battle. No matter what happens, I will set a personal best in the sprint in August but I sure wish the anxiety would stop sneaking up on me. Anxiety is a jerk.


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